"Other people's opinion of you does not have to become your reality." Les Brown
A good self-esteem is very important in life because without it, one can easily sabotage one's success, happiness and lifestyle. You have to recognize your ability to become what you desire and wish. When you know yourself well, no negative words or remarks can influence you. Yesterday, I discussed here about one of the first ways to improve one's esteem level.
2. See yourself as a victor and not a victim.
Many people who suffer from low self-esteem see themselves as victims of some circumstances and they don't feel they have a power to control them. Circumstances reveal to us who we are actually and any circumstances can help us become a better person. You must dwell on what you can do and what you have; don't dwell on what you didn't do or what you could have done. People think mostly on their negative happenings more than the positive meaning. You must learn to perceive your bad circumstances in a better way.
Mahatma Gandhi, when he was fighting for independence, he went through many challenges and dehumanizing situation yet he never lost his self-esteem. He was thrown out of the train in South Africa, yet he didn't feel bad or didn't see himself as a man of less worth rather he was motivated to be a great worthwhile person. And today, he is respected, remembered and loved by many people for spreading the non-violence.
You may encounter failures, setbacks and loss, but they should never make you feel inferior or incapable because external things don't make us happy and strong. It is your internal things that will make you strong and healthy. Feel better inside of you and you will be happy to live another day. People fail in their endeavours and they give up completely and as a result their self-esteem goes down. Yes, chances are there, but you should never allow your esteem to go low. Abraham Lincoln failed many times. Thomas Edison failed thousand times, NASA scientists have failed many times and many other successful people failed many times but they never allowed their self-esteem to remain low. Instead such incidents made them to be strong and upbeat.
3. Self-esteem comes when you respect and value yourself.
Majority of population, all over the world feel that others should show them respect and honour. However they don't think that they should first respect and value themselves. Many don't consider themselves as respectful, valuable and priceless for many reasons but why not think oneself as very respectful indeed? If you truly respect yourself, you will value or empower yourself and then you will begin to see yourself as someone capable and talented.
Nobody really knows what they are worth until some interests or hobbies stand out in their lives. For instance, Bill Gates had some peculiar interests towards computer and he went after it as a result his self-esteem improved because he improved as a student. Similarly, Oprah didn't know she would be so successful in hosting her shows until the day came when she got the opportunity and that uplifted her soul and standard. She felt better because respected and valued herself for what she was capable of doing.
Great people respect themselves, they value themselves and they understand their capabilities. So learn to respect yourself and value what you possess. "It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others."Sidney J. Harris
When people are broke or heart broken, they lose their hopes and begin to have low self-esteem. Their esteem level comes down drastically that they no longer feel energetic to begin all over again. When you are broke, it is because of a reason; perhaps you are broke for developing some aspects of your life. If your loved one, broke away from you then there should be some valid reason and for that you don't need to feel low because obviously that wasn't supposed to be for you. Learn to keep things in right perspectives.
Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor
