Marriage is a sacred union between two separate individuals who decide to share life with each other based on physical, emotional, spiritual, mental and social attraction. Marriage is indeed one of the best inventions by human civilization. The birds and animals change their partners frequently, but we humans don't change rather we stay together and raise children mutually.
Today, two opposite individuals coming together to live and share life mutually face a lot of challenges to sustain their relationship due various reasons. And I am not going to touch in detail those reasons however I will discuss how married life can be lived successfully in spite of difficulties.
Love
Love is the real requirement of a successful married life. Here each partner must love himself/herself first before loving themselves. Loving oneself first is the beginning of extending one's love to one's partner. If a person doesn't love oneself fully, he or she can't be successful in loving their partner. It is essential to love oneself and then extend the same love to others.
Goals
Nobody enters into a relationship today without speaking or sharing about goals, dreams, interests and visions. So it is important to make known your desires and aspirations of life so that both partners could work out a plan to support each other in accomplishing the goals. There must be shared goals. Having goals are essential because it increases the love and understanding among the partners. Goals are nothing but the passion for living an extraordinary life.
Attitude
Another aspect of successful married life is the attitude that each partner has towards the other. When two people enter into the relationship, their attitude must be positive, optimistic, confident and relaxed. Attitude indeed defines one's successful relationship. It is better to have a positive attitude towards one's partner.
Giving
Each partner must have the attitude of giving. When one partner gives enough love, care, attention and encouragement to other partner, there is always going to be a harmonious co-existence because they are both giving to one another what the other person needs. Giving is important than receiving.
Gratitude
Gratitude is a great way to affirm and show real love to your partners. You should be grateful for your partner in the first place. The very fact that you are staying in relationship with your partner, you in turn should be grateful for spending life together. When you live together, there are many things that you should be grateful for. You got to appreciate your partner so that you will live in peace and love. Find out at least 5 things that you should be grateful about your partner everyday.
Trust
Of course, when you enter into a relationship, you must trust your spouse because your spouse will never ever cheat you until and unless you loose interest or enthusiasm. So there must be trust from both side.
Forgiveness
There will be quarrels and fights with words and you should not wish that there won't be any fights. Fights will occur because we interact with external world so much that we get influenced by the media and negative programming that we think getting into some kind of argument is normal. When there is fight or quarrel you must let it go off because by holding it you don't win any great rewards for yourself. Forgive at once because you should know your priority to live a beautiful life.
Patience
Patience is indeed a virtue but you should develop it because no two individuals will behave or act in the same manner and naturally there will be differences, late or frustration. In that time remember that you got to have patience.
90/10
This is a rule which says that in relationship, each partner will have at least 90% of positive attractions or likings and 10% negative feelings. The fact that two of you are married and living together because of great degree of commonalities between you both.
Think
Reflect for 10 minutes about your partner. Meditate and think about your relationship and the progress that you are making every day. It is important that you act together and by reflecting you can know your strengths and ideas to make it better.
Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor
