It is very strange to know that there are no two people of same mind, thinking, attitude, desires, interests and lifestyles in the whole world. However, there are high percentage of people who pretend to be of same mind, opinions, thoughts and lifestyle who tend to be the birds of a feather but in reality there is none. No two people think the same way as you do or as you believe.
People are friends with one another because it is basically to escape from solitude or from fear of being alone and insecurity. The deep desire to feel loved, appreciated, encouraged and accepted as an important individual causes people to seek companionship. If there were no feelings of insecurity, poverty, illness and loneliness, people wouldn't seek any companionship with others. They would instead live an independent life irrespective of gender.
People agree with others in order to be in friendship and meet the basic human needs of emotional feelings though they would not agree with the other if it hadn't been friendship the ground of such co-existence. People differ a lot in thinking, behaving, talking, listening and understanding.
All the married couples too have no 100% same mind, attitude, thinking or opinions about many aspects of life here on earth. The married couples wouldn't live together on the basis of sex, procreation, love and friendship if they didn't compromise and conform with the others.
People should be truthful about sharing their views, opinions and thinking with their beloved ones so that the differences could be known and understood in order to create a better relationship with each other. Of course, there is a problem of pretension where though the other is unique and possesses different mindset, tries to conform to the group whichever he/she finds some similarities.
People must accept the differences and try to have independent opinions of themselves so that they don't fall into crowd thinking. Each individual must think for himself so that there can be a better lifestyle.
Parents are not of same mind with their kids. The kids think differently and operate from different perspectives and in the same manner, parents too operate in different ways. That means, there is no one mind, one soul, one spirit and one enthusiasm or goals.
In my view, people must learn to have their unique and independent minds and not try to conform to the group mentality. The herd mentality does no one good except that it creates dependency, security, comfort, fear and the knowledge of lack, poverty, sickness etc.
Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
How to live a great married life?
Marriage is a sacred union between two separate individuals who decide to share life with each other based on physical, emotional, spiritual, mental and social attraction. Marriage is indeed one of the best inventions by human civilization. The birds and animals change their partners frequently, but we humans don't change rather we stay together and raise children mutually.
Today, two opposite individuals coming together to live and share life mutually face a lot of challenges to sustain their relationship due various reasons. And I am not going to touch in detail those reasons however I will discuss how married life can be lived successfully in spite of difficulties.
Love
Love is the real requirement of a successful married life. Here each partner must love himself/herself first before loving themselves. Loving oneself first is the beginning of extending one's love to one's partner. If a person doesn't love oneself fully, he or she can't be successful in loving their partner. It is essential to love oneself and then extend the same love to others.
Goals
Nobody enters into a relationship today without speaking or sharing about goals, dreams, interests and visions. So it is important to make known your desires and aspirations of life so that both partners could work out a plan to support each other in accomplishing the goals. There must be shared goals. Having goals are essential because it increases the love and understanding among the partners. Goals are nothing but the passion for living an extraordinary life.
Attitude
Another aspect of successful married life is the attitude that each partner has towards the other. When two people enter into the relationship, their attitude must be positive, optimistic, confident and relaxed. Attitude indeed defines one's successful relationship. It is better to have a positive attitude towards one's partner.
Giving
Each partner must have the attitude of giving. When one partner gives enough love, care, attention and encouragement to other partner, there is always going to be a harmonious co-existence because they are both giving to one another what the other person needs. Giving is important than receiving.
Gratitude
Gratitude is a great way to affirm and show real love to your partners. You should be grateful for your partner in the first place. The very fact that you are staying in relationship with your partner, you in turn should be grateful for spending life together. When you live together, there are many things that you should be grateful for. You got to appreciate your partner so that you will live in peace and love. Find out at least 5 things that you should be grateful about your partner everyday.
Trust
Of course, when you enter into a relationship, you must trust your spouse because your spouse will never ever cheat you until and unless you loose interest or enthusiasm. So there must be trust from both side.
Forgiveness
There will be quarrels and fights with words and you should not wish that there won't be any fights. Fights will occur because we interact with external world so much that we get influenced by the media and negative programming that we think getting into some kind of argument is normal. When there is fight or quarrel you must let it go off because by holding it you don't win any great rewards for yourself. Forgive at once because you should know your priority to live a beautiful life.
Patience
Patience is indeed a virtue but you should develop it because no two individuals will behave or act in the same manner and naturally there will be differences, late or frustration. In that time remember that you got to have patience.
90/10
This is a rule which says that in relationship, each partner will have at least 90% of positive attractions or likings and 10% negative feelings. The fact that two of you are married and living together because of great degree of commonalities between you both.
Think
Reflect for 10 minutes about your partner. Meditate and think about your relationship and the progress that you are making every day. It is important that you act together and by reflecting you can know your strengths and ideas to make it better.
Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor
Monday, August 23, 2010
Speak blessings and not curses
Children are born intelligent, talented, rich, healthy and skilful to live a wonderful life on this earth. They have purpose, goals, dreams, visions and reasons to lead a normal life. They don't lack anything. They possess everything that requires to be a success in life. They come with a complete package and they are all full.
The parents must speak to their respective kids the blessings that they want to see happen in their children. The words that they speak has power and if they bless their children with goodness, happiness, wealth, health and a unique lifestyle, the children will become like the blessings. If the parents don't speak blessings to their kids, others will speak and condition them and it won't be any blessings. It will be only curses.
The media, newspapers and TV will feed the children whatever they don't want to hear or be. And children will find them very alluring and catchy as a result they fall victims to the media at large. Therefore you got to speak to your children the words of blessings so that you get what you speak and that may be your true intention.
Majority of parents aren't happy with their children today because these parents didn't speak blessings into their children and when their children didn't find any goodness or talents or encouragement in them, they began to drift apart from their parents. The children looked for sources which affirmed them when they had doubts or fears. The media made certain things look so appealing and good that the children began to admire about them. And later they wanted to have or be like them though it wouldn't make them happy.
It is very important that we should speak only the blessings that we want to see in our life. If we don't desire for the good things, we won't get them in our life. Let's speak for one another the goodness and bless each other with all the things which are responsible to make our lives better and successful.
Speak the positive to your children, and avoid as much as you can to speak curses because curses are negative words and they are powerful. Human words are creative forces and they can create fear, doubt or courage and confidence. You must see that you speak good about everybody so that the blessing you send out will return manifold.
Speak the blessings, encourage one another, affirm with good qualities and build a new person.
Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor
The parents must speak to their respective kids the blessings that they want to see happen in their children. The words that they speak has power and if they bless their children with goodness, happiness, wealth, health and a unique lifestyle, the children will become like the blessings. If the parents don't speak blessings to their kids, others will speak and condition them and it won't be any blessings. It will be only curses.
The media, newspapers and TV will feed the children whatever they don't want to hear or be. And children will find them very alluring and catchy as a result they fall victims to the media at large. Therefore you got to speak to your children the words of blessings so that you get what you speak and that may be your true intention.
Majority of parents aren't happy with their children today because these parents didn't speak blessings into their children and when their children didn't find any goodness or talents or encouragement in them, they began to drift apart from their parents. The children looked for sources which affirmed them when they had doubts or fears. The media made certain things look so appealing and good that the children began to admire about them. And later they wanted to have or be like them though it wouldn't make them happy.
It is very important that we should speak only the blessings that we want to see in our life. If we don't desire for the good things, we won't get them in our life. Let's speak for one another the goodness and bless each other with all the things which are responsible to make our lives better and successful.
Speak the positive to your children, and avoid as much as you can to speak curses because curses are negative words and they are powerful. Human words are creative forces and they can create fear, doubt or courage and confidence. You must see that you speak good about everybody so that the blessing you send out will return manifold.
Speak the blessings, encourage one another, affirm with good qualities and build a new person.
Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Focus on what you do want!
Approximately, 97% of world population in the world, focus on what they don't want and only 3% of people focus on what they do want. It is a tragic story that few people get what they want because they focus on getting things they truly desire.
The majority of people lead 'a life of quite desperation' because they are not trained to be calm, quiet and peaceful. They are stressed out in life so much that they hardly feel the urge to focus on good things. It is a reality that the media all over the world present one kind of news and information. The media gives what people don't want and they show as if they are correct while people who want health, wealth, money, abundance, they show as not good, or corrupt.
It is important to know what you want and move towards them. Knowing is not enough, moving towards it is the most important thing. So learn to focus on your wants and they will come to you. However don't focus on what you don't want.
When you focus on what you want, you become eligible to get them and you are in line with attracting wealth, harmony and peace. Affirm the things that you want. Visualize them always so that they become real and true. In order to make it more real, you must feel the power that will help you get the things you want.
The whole world is trying to conspire you to focus on what you don't want, don't give your attention to it. You instead focus on what you do want by all means. There is a great power in focusing what you do want. So allow everything that you want to manifest in your life.
Focus on what you do want to enjoy the abundant world. You are rich, abundant and prosperous. So get what you want by focusing on them day in and day out, 24/7.
Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor
The majority of people lead 'a life of quite desperation' because they are not trained to be calm, quiet and peaceful. They are stressed out in life so much that they hardly feel the urge to focus on good things. It is a reality that the media all over the world present one kind of news and information. The media gives what people don't want and they show as if they are correct while people who want health, wealth, money, abundance, they show as not good, or corrupt.
It is important to know what you want and move towards them. Knowing is not enough, moving towards it is the most important thing. So learn to focus on your wants and they will come to you. However don't focus on what you don't want.
When you focus on what you want, you become eligible to get them and you are in line with attracting wealth, harmony and peace. Affirm the things that you want. Visualize them always so that they become real and true. In order to make it more real, you must feel the power that will help you get the things you want.
The whole world is trying to conspire you to focus on what you don't want, don't give your attention to it. You instead focus on what you do want by all means. There is a great power in focusing what you do want. So allow everything that you want to manifest in your life.
Focus on what you do want to enjoy the abundant world. You are rich, abundant and prosperous. So get what you want by focusing on them day in and day out, 24/7.
Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor
Saturday, August 21, 2010
With our conscious efforts we can achieve all that we want.
Jim Rohn said,"some people find things easy to do and others find easy not to do."
With our conscious efforts we can achieve almost anything that we want. However it takes a consistent discipline to make things easy to do. Those who decide to take the first step they really accomplish their mission. They don't wait for things to happen by itself. Things will not happen or change by itself without external efforts because as the law of nature says that 'a thing in motion remains in motion and a thing in inertia tends to be static.'
It requires our genuine efforts and willingness to do something. It takes our conscious decision to learn how to use computer, how to record the audio using audacity software or learning how to play baseball and golf. In the absence of conscious efforts, nothing much is achieved in life. Those who get great success they understand the reality of taking always a conscious action.
For example, in the office, the table will be filled with cluttered things and they will most likely remain their as long as a person decides consciously to remove them. If he doesn't remove it because he is lazy, the table will remain cluttered and it will become more cluttered over the period.
So, it proves the statement true that without the conscious efforts from individuals there are no major changes or application. It is only when there is consciousness in performing any particular task that the work really gets completed.
You won't read if you don't decide to read this article consciously. If you want to bring about major changes in your life, learn to do any activity with full consciousness. It will work miracles for you because it makes sense when conscious efforts are involved.
Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor
With our conscious efforts we can achieve almost anything that we want. However it takes a consistent discipline to make things easy to do. Those who decide to take the first step they really accomplish their mission. They don't wait for things to happen by itself. Things will not happen or change by itself without external efforts because as the law of nature says that 'a thing in motion remains in motion and a thing in inertia tends to be static.'
It requires our genuine efforts and willingness to do something. It takes our conscious decision to learn how to use computer, how to record the audio using audacity software or learning how to play baseball and golf. In the absence of conscious efforts, nothing much is achieved in life. Those who get great success they understand the reality of taking always a conscious action.
For example, in the office, the table will be filled with cluttered things and they will most likely remain their as long as a person decides consciously to remove them. If he doesn't remove it because he is lazy, the table will remain cluttered and it will become more cluttered over the period.
So, it proves the statement true that without the conscious efforts from individuals there are no major changes or application. It is only when there is consciousness in performing any particular task that the work really gets completed.
You won't read if you don't decide to read this article consciously. If you want to bring about major changes in your life, learn to do any activity with full consciousness. It will work miracles for you because it makes sense when conscious efforts are involved.
Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor
Friday, August 20, 2010
Your Imagination is more important than knowledge.
The most important education an individual can acquire is through imagination. Imagination is the beginning of all knowledge. Imagination is limitless. The schools and colleges provide knowledge to the students but they don't develop their imaginative skills. The schools expect the students to give the ready made answers and they don't encourage them to innovate new ideas or answers.
The schools fail to provide the foundational education for the students and this is possible only through the imagination of each student. The schools must act like a facilitator but they don't follow this path rather they provide all the answers to the questions they think they are the final and absolute answers.
Remember your imagination is more important than your acquired knowledge because acquired knowledge become obsolete within a short span of time but imagination is always fresh and new. It is available all the time in any generation or time. Therefore consider your imagination as the most important and valuable education in life.
It is through imagination, that we all are enjoying the breakthrough of modern technology and science. Human imagination has the capacity to alter one's course of life and make it a better one.
You can create and achieve your goals, dreams and visions only through imagination and not through knowledge. Bill Gates dropped the college studies because the college didn't feed his imagination, his dreams rather college only fed him with the ready made answers which were not relevant to his time. Imagination is powerful if you use it for your benefits and progress.
Write down all your goals and imagine of accomplishing them all within the stipulated time and space. All those successful people apply imagination all the time to succeed in life. They use it to become rich, start new businesses and to make investments in assets that generate constant passive cash flow. They use it to create a new story for themselves, the new lifestyle.
Use your imagination to have all that you desire or create during your life time. You can create a better, happy and rich future for yourself if you want. There is plenty and abundance in imagination.
How can you use it? You must close your eyes and imagine all the things that you want them to happen in your life. It is important that you imagine or visualize them often as many times as you can. It is possible to improve your life situation through imagination.
"IMAGINATION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN KNOWLEDGE." Albert Einstein
Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor
The schools fail to provide the foundational education for the students and this is possible only through the imagination of each student. The schools must act like a facilitator but they don't follow this path rather they provide all the answers to the questions they think they are the final and absolute answers.
Remember your imagination is more important than your acquired knowledge because acquired knowledge become obsolete within a short span of time but imagination is always fresh and new. It is available all the time in any generation or time. Therefore consider your imagination as the most important and valuable education in life.
It is through imagination, that we all are enjoying the breakthrough of modern technology and science. Human imagination has the capacity to alter one's course of life and make it a better one.
You can create and achieve your goals, dreams and visions only through imagination and not through knowledge. Bill Gates dropped the college studies because the college didn't feed his imagination, his dreams rather college only fed him with the ready made answers which were not relevant to his time. Imagination is powerful if you use it for your benefits and progress.
Write down all your goals and imagine of accomplishing them all within the stipulated time and space. All those successful people apply imagination all the time to succeed in life. They use it to become rich, start new businesses and to make investments in assets that generate constant passive cash flow. They use it to create a new story for themselves, the new lifestyle.
Use your imagination to have all that you desire or create during your life time. You can create a better, happy and rich future for yourself if you want. There is plenty and abundance in imagination.
How can you use it? You must close your eyes and imagine all the things that you want them to happen in your life. It is important that you imagine or visualize them often as many times as you can. It is possible to improve your life situation through imagination.
"IMAGINATION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN KNOWLEDGE." Albert Einstein
Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Do you love yourself first?
We have often heard the saying from the New Testament where Jesus says, "Love your neighbour as you love yourself." Many people think that we should love others first and then later we must love ourselves. The meaning is very deep here. What it means here actually is to be SELFISH by loving ourselves first and it is never to be unselfish first. Everything starts from within ourselves and it spreads outward. It is wise to ask a question, do we love ourselves first?
Many people don't really feel worthwhile and valuable as a result they don't love themselves. The poor self-esteem makes a person to like oneself less and less degrading one's worth. People don't really know about themselves and they don't get any encouragement from others, which causes them to shift their priorities on others rather than on themselves. They do everything for others, they try to be good friends, or love others etc. just to feel loved or important. But this is a wrong strategy. Self-esteem is an important aspect of our personality. Those who have good self-esteem, they are happier, richer and healthier in life.
The other day I found one of my students looked very sick, down and inactive and I asked Arem whether she loved herself. She paused for a while and thought about it and then she replied, 'no'. I was curious to know why she didn't love herself. She said, she didn't feel worthy and important. She thought that by loving others she was loving herself but in reality she didn't.
Then I asked her whether she admired herself or not in the mirror. She said she wouldn't do that because it sounded so silly. Anyway, I encouraged her to see herself in the mirror and say "I love you Arem, you are a beautiful girl, you have a lovely smile." It was very awkward to her. Upon my insistence, she agreed and looked herself into the mirror and loudly affirmed that she loved herself and she was beautiful with a lovely smile.
Arem is indeed a beautiful girl but her poor self-esteem doesn't let her focus on the positive aspects of life. She always thinks negative about herself, though in reality there is no negative about her. Like Arem there are millions who don't consider themselves lovable, beautiful and attractive. Instead, they limit themselves and live a low profile life.
If we closely study this case we will find that people actually have wrong notion about their personality, appearance and attitude. They think they are not special as a result not worthy of appreciation and love. People must begin to love themselves first as much as they can and if they do this, their whole attitude towards them will change and become a better one.
Once I helped Arem to admire herself, she felt convinced that she was indeed a beautiful young girl and nobody was like her in the whole world. The sick feeling that she had, disappeared at once when she affirmed and believed her qualities. She was emotionally sick and she needed an encouragement from others to support her that she was very special and important. People normally don't feel special until others make them feel but it is rare when others will come and say nice things about you.
Jesus when he taught people to love neighbours as they love themselves presupposed that they really loved themselves first and then if they came across anyone they should love in the same manner they loveed themselves. There is no second or third way to love. There is one way and that is to love oneself first and then extend that love to others.
When I was a teenager, I didn't like myself so much because I had pimples on my face. It bothered me so much when I compared myself with other friends. It drained my energy and I began to withdraw myself from facing people. I thought they would not accept me as I was. My self-esteem was very low and I was under stress and frustration. I couldn't understand why things happened to me. But as I grew towards maturity, I had a better understanding about myself and life. I accepted myself as I was and I loved and pampered myself by buying flowers, books, gifts and foods. It made me to think I was special and important and very unique.
It takes a ton of education to change our perception or attitude towards life and ourselves. If we don't have enough right knowledge, we don't really value and consider things important. If we love ourselves first, we can indeed love anybody as we wish and desire.
Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor
Many people don't really feel worthwhile and valuable as a result they don't love themselves. The poor self-esteem makes a person to like oneself less and less degrading one's worth. People don't really know about themselves and they don't get any encouragement from others, which causes them to shift their priorities on others rather than on themselves. They do everything for others, they try to be good friends, or love others etc. just to feel loved or important. But this is a wrong strategy. Self-esteem is an important aspect of our personality. Those who have good self-esteem, they are happier, richer and healthier in life.
The other day I found one of my students looked very sick, down and inactive and I asked Arem whether she loved herself. She paused for a while and thought about it and then she replied, 'no'. I was curious to know why she didn't love herself. She said, she didn't feel worthy and important. She thought that by loving others she was loving herself but in reality she didn't.
Then I asked her whether she admired herself or not in the mirror. She said she wouldn't do that because it sounded so silly. Anyway, I encouraged her to see herself in the mirror and say "I love you Arem, you are a beautiful girl, you have a lovely smile." It was very awkward to her. Upon my insistence, she agreed and looked herself into the mirror and loudly affirmed that she loved herself and she was beautiful with a lovely smile.
Arem is indeed a beautiful girl but her poor self-esteem doesn't let her focus on the positive aspects of life. She always thinks negative about herself, though in reality there is no negative about her. Like Arem there are millions who don't consider themselves lovable, beautiful and attractive. Instead, they limit themselves and live a low profile life.
If we closely study this case we will find that people actually have wrong notion about their personality, appearance and attitude. They think they are not special as a result not worthy of appreciation and love. People must begin to love themselves first as much as they can and if they do this, their whole attitude towards them will change and become a better one.
Once I helped Arem to admire herself, she felt convinced that she was indeed a beautiful young girl and nobody was like her in the whole world. The sick feeling that she had, disappeared at once when she affirmed and believed her qualities. She was emotionally sick and she needed an encouragement from others to support her that she was very special and important. People normally don't feel special until others make them feel but it is rare when others will come and say nice things about you.
Jesus when he taught people to love neighbours as they love themselves presupposed that they really loved themselves first and then if they came across anyone they should love in the same manner they loveed themselves. There is no second or third way to love. There is one way and that is to love oneself first and then extend that love to others.
When I was a teenager, I didn't like myself so much because I had pimples on my face. It bothered me so much when I compared myself with other friends. It drained my energy and I began to withdraw myself from facing people. I thought they would not accept me as I was. My self-esteem was very low and I was under stress and frustration. I couldn't understand why things happened to me. But as I grew towards maturity, I had a better understanding about myself and life. I accepted myself as I was and I loved and pampered myself by buying flowers, books, gifts and foods. It made me to think I was special and important and very unique.
It takes a ton of education to change our perception or attitude towards life and ourselves. If we don't have enough right knowledge, we don't really value and consider things important. If we love ourselves first, we can indeed love anybody as we wish and desire.
Alwed Ekka
Guide Coach Mentor
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